Warriors: Have a Bad Birthday!
by Spotty1006
Summary: The Clans invite Spottedpaw13 over to separate birthday parties. But is it really a celebration, or attempts to get revenge? Yup, it's revenge attempts.
1. Celebration 1: ThunderClan

**So as you may or may not know, my birthday is Saturday. As you probably don't know, libithewolf happens to be spending the day out here on my birthday. Yayz! And as you do not know as it was just decided like 3 hours ago, my family party is actually on my birthday this year. Isn't that awesome?  
But as this story celebrates my birthday, it also celebrates my one year anniversary on this site, which was two days ago. Completely forgot. Oops. So, yup, the Clans are going to go out of their way to make sure my birthday is horrible this year.  
"First chapter goes to ThunderClan, of course!" Cinderpaw added. Quiet, Cinderpaw. "Like you don't talk too much." I said shut it.

* * *

**Spottedpaw13 opened her mailbox at the Den of Moon. (Author note: Wish I had a mailbox in here....) "Birthday invitations?" She wondered as she opened the letter. "ThunderClan is inviting me over to celebrate my birthday and my year anniversary here? How sweet, considering all the bad things I've done to them."

"Little did Spottedpaw13 know what was coming to her..." Cinderpaw narrated.

I believe WE are the narrator.

"Oh, fine." Cinderpaw rolled her eyes and left.

Ahem. Little did Spottedpaw13 know what was coming to her.

* * *

Firestar smiled his biggest fake grin as Spottedpaw13 entered the camp. "Come in, come in."

"Hi!" Bumblepaw mewed, Briarpaw and Blossompaw following her, as if to highlight the fact that YES, WE KNOW THEIR WARRIORS, BUT WE DON'T HAVE FADING ECHOES YET, AND IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ONLY UPGRADE BRIARPAW!!!!

"Why are the words yelling about me?" Briarlight, er, -PAW, asked.

"Because....Oh my." Spottedpaw13 saw Longtail was gone. "So I can't upgrade warrior names, but I can upgrade dead elders???"

Yes you can.

"That's so stupid."

Too bad for you.

Anyway, Brambleclaw, who we hope really does die before he becomes leader and that ERIN HUNTER IS LYING, cleared his throat. "Will Spottedpaw13, Jayfeather, Purdy, Icecloud, and Cloudtail come here please?"

The five cats padded over to him. He told them what was planned, and they nodded.

"May I present, the Warriors Puppet Pals!" Leafpool announced.

"That's my line!" Toadstep protested.

"Main characters only," Brambleclaw told Toadstep.

"...Cheap," Toadstep muttered.

"Shh, it's starting!" Daisy whispered.

And as you can guess, this was a random version of the Mysterious Ticking Noise. Yes.

Jayfeather stood up. "What's that mysterious growling noise? Hmm....I can't find it, but it's catchy." Ignoring the boos from the audience, Jayfeather continued. "Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind. Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"I'M PURDY!" Purdy yowled.

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen," Spottedpaw13 muttered.

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen."

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen."

"That's Foxleap," Icecloud mewed, pointing at her brother. "That's Foxleap."

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen."

"That's Foxleap. Foxleap. Foxleap."

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen."

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen."

"That's Foxleap. That's Foxleap."

"!" Cloudtail started yowling a bunch of random stuff that no one could figure out.

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen."

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen."

"That's Foxleap. That's Foxleap."

"!"

"Jayfeather!" Jayfeather growled.

"Cloudtail!" Cloudtail spat.

"Jayfeather!"

"Cloudtail!"

"Jayfeather!"

"Cloudtail!"

"Jayfeather!"

"Cloudtail!"

"Jayfeather!"

"Cloudtail!"

"Jayfeather!"

"Cloudtail!"

"Jayfeather!"

"Cloudtail!"

"Jayfeather!"

"Cloudtail!"

"I'M PURDY!" Purdy screamed.

"Thaaaat's Foxleap!" Icecloud added.

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen."

"That's Foxleap. That's Foxleap."

"!"

"I'M PURDY!"

"Jay, Jay, Jayfeather's blind."

"Spot. Ted. Paw Thirteen."

"That's Foxleap. That's Foxleap."

"!"

"Singing our song, all day long with FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRESTAR!" all five added.

"I found the source of the growling..." Spottedpaw13 whispered. "It's a badger!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" The other four cats shouted as it ate Spottedpaw13 and left.

"Brambleclaw, Brambleclaw, oh, Bramble Bramble Bramble Brambleclaw!" Brambleclaw finished.

The End.

ThunderClan applauded.

"Good job!" Firestar praised Brambleclaw. "Now she's finally gone!"

"She'll be back," Jayfeather warned grimly.

And with that, everyone shivered and went back to normal duties.

* * *

**This is actually shorter than it seems. I just used a random idea that popped in my head, and it failed. Nice failing, ThunderClan. ShadowClan's sure to have a better performance when I get to them.  
Disclaimer: Yes.  
Real Disclaimer: Mmhm.  
'False' Disclaimer: Warriors belongs to Erin Hunter, whom I am DEFINITELY NOOOOOT! The Mysterious Ticking Noise belongs to the Potter Puppet Pals, whom I am not a part of. The Mysterious Growling Noise is a random parody of it. Please support the actual things.  
Well, I'll be around. Oh, if you're looking for a book to read, I suggest reading 'Worlds Dumbest Laws'. It's a really good short, hilarious, and informational book all in one.**


	2. Celebration 2: WindClan

**Pokemon ice cream cake! YAY! (Not until my sleepover, unfortunately.) But on the bright side, mom said next year we're going to try to have a Warriors ice cream cake for my birthday!  
Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, ice cream cakes, mailboxes, letters, WindClan's camp, Breezepelt, badgers, or....anything else in this chapter.

* * *

**Spottedpaw13 magically appeared back in her den. "Hey, look. It's an invitation to WindClan for a birthday party." Not learning from the last 'birthday party', Spottedpaw13 automatically assumed the best of them and decided nothing could go wrong. "That's nice."

* * *

"Thanks for coming," Onestar muttered. "Especially in the middle of our badger threat."

"Badger threat?" Spottedpaw13 seemed confused.

"Haven't you read Fading Echoes* yet?" Breezepelt demanded.

"Wikipedia didn't mention badgers. They did mention-" Spottedpaw13 began, but of course we're censoring out what we think is Longtail's death. And something to do with Briarpaw, whom we refuse to call Briarlight. For now.

"Well, that's because no one cares about OUR problems!" The dead Barkface (finally!!!!) growled. "They just care about THUNDERCLAN."

"Hey, I cared about ShadowClan when they had their problems in Long Shadows," Spottedpaw13 retorted in defense. "I was thinking about how mouse-brained they were and how it couldn't go on much longer than it was."

"Thank StarClan for that," Kestrelwing coughed.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Onestar asked.

"I thought you were better now," Crowfeather commented.

"I am," Onestar immediately responded, looking extremely happy. "So, everyone, let's wish Spottedpaw13 a happy birthday."

Everyone gathered around, but immediately, as if on cue, a badger invaded.

"....Crap," Crowfeather hissed. ''I knew this was a bad place for camp."

"YOU picked it out!" Nightcloud growled.

"SHUT UP!" Ashfoot commanded. "Here they come."

And, as if like magic, more badgers followed the first badger.

"Oh dear.....Father, help me," Spottedpaw13 prayed. "It's just like ThunderClan's badger attack, in which a whole two or so cats died."

"It was a sad moment!" Sedgewhisker reminded her.

"Because Cinderpelt died, boo-hoo, she's ALIVE now!" Spottedpaw13 flashed back. Then she narrowed her eyes. "YA!"

"Great StarClan, she's attacking the badgers by herself," Gorsetail, the cat who not only came back from the dead but pulled a Rowanclaw and switched genders (I believe, anyone else remember Gorsetail the queen?), whispered.

"Anyone else want to whisper?" Emberfoot asked.

"NO!" Spottedpaw13 growled as she murdered her third badger.

"By StarClan, she's a great fighter!" Boulderpaw whispered as well.

"No, I'm just using random Author powers, because I _hate_ violence," Spottedpaw13 replied. Suddenly, the rest of the badgers were lit on fire.

Except for one, which lumbered forward and killed Spottedpaw13 as she watched the other badgers burned to the ground.

"I'll get you, WindClan!" Spottedpaw13 swore. "Blech." That's the sign that she's dead. Since everyone says that when she's dead.

"I think she forgot to DVR iBloop**," Sunstrike thought out loud.

"Stop thinking out loud! I feel like JAYFEATHER, for cryin' out loud!" Breezepelt spat.

"I wasn't trying to kill anyone," Onestar muttered.

"FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE, SPEAK IN A NORMAL TONE OF VOICE, ALL OF YOU!" Antpelt screamed.

Everyone gasped.

"Who are you again?" Furzepaw asked.

"You should talk!" Antpelt retorted.

"Spottedpaw13's alive again," Kestrelwing reported.

"What, does she have nine lives or something?" Brambleclaw spat. "She's no Clan leader!"

"No, but YOU'RE no WindClan cat, either," Onestar muttered.

"STOP MUTTERING!" Antpelt yowled.

"SHUT THE STARCLAN UP!!!!!!!" a bunch of random cats told him.

Oh, yeah, did I mention Itachi Uchiha was there too? Crazy ninjas.

* * *

**How I love censoring spoilers, since I'm not sure if Longtail really died. Did he? No, don't tell me, I'm hoping to learn this Saturday. SATURDAY IS THREE DAYS AWAY, SO DON'T TELL ME.  
I'm surprised WindClan wasn't honestly trying to kill me. Either that, or they're excellent actors.  
Now Spottedpaw13 must go grab chicken.  
*No, I haven't.**  
**** I'm saving the pleasure for Friday. I think.**


	3. Celebration 3: RiverClan

**Now I do, and do I mean do, have to update this like crazy to get the last chapter on the right day. However, as a wonderful jog with Thistlefang is planned for then, it might not happen until it's so late that no one will read it until the wrong day, anyway. But too bad.  
Now, we're going to RiverClan. And they just invited Spottedpaw13 to the wrong party...

* * *

**Spottedpaw13 appeared back in the Den of Author. Again. "It's another invitation. 'Yay'. This time....it's from RiverClan." Spottedpaw13 read the note. "I'll be sure to watch for anything suspicious."

* * *

"Hi." Leopardstar didn't look too thrilled to see Spottedpaw13.

"Hello." Spottedpaw13 was less thrilled than Leopardstar. Who wants to be greeted by their least favorite RiverClan leader anyway?

"Welcome," Leopardstar muttered. "Happy Birthday."

"What's planned for this birthday celebration?" Spottedpaw13 asked suspiciously.

"A swimming party!" Willowshine replied enthusiastically, popping up from behind a tiny rock.

"Did anyone tell you you're short?" Spottedpaw13 inquired.

* * *

About five seconds later, everyone was in a random river swimming, Spottedpaw13 hanging out on some inflatables.

"This looks like a good short one," Spottedpaw13 whispered.

Rainstorm swam over to Spottedpaw13. "Hi."

"My suspicions confirmed," Spottedpaw13 sighed. "What do you want?"

"You can't swim, can you?" Rainstorm commented.

"No, I can't." Spottedpaw13's claws slid out. "What's it to you?"

"I hope you can learn quickly," Rainstorm told her as a bunch of RiverClan cats moved the inflatables out from under Spottedpaw13.

"What are you doing?" Spottedpaw13 asked, though she already knew the answer. "Drowning. How clever."

"Bye." Leopardstar still didn't look thrilled. "Since I'm almost dead anyway, this should be a final goodbye in this life. For me. Bye."

Spottedpaw13 shrugged, and then she drowned.

"Umm....she's going to come back to life," Mothwing whispered.

"Let them celebrate while they can," Leopardstar replied.

* * *

**A nice, short, dry one. Very dry, with all that water. Mmm, dry.**

**So tomorrow should be ShadowClan. Three cheers for ShadowClan. I still need to figure out what to do with them...  
**


	4. Celebration 4: ShadowClan

**I'mma day late. Oh well. The last chapter will be up later today.  
It's ShadowClan's turn. And I finally have an idea. Two words: Baseball game.

* * *

**Spottedpaw13 appeared once more in the Den of Author. "Oh boy. ANOTHER invitation. To ShadowClan." Spottedpaw13 sighed in boredom. "Oh well, at least I ran earlier. I can go without regrets."

* * *

Spottedpaw13 arrived at ShadowClan. "Hi."

"Stop pretending to be bored," Flametail commanded.

"Fine," Spottedpaw13 growled.

Blackstar magically appeared, holding an apron. "As you probably guessed, we're going to attempt to torture you today."

"I knew it!" Spottedpaw13 exclaimed. "But....why are you holding an apron?"

"I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT." Blackstar rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Spottedpaw13 shrugged. "So what's today's torture?"

Blackstar grinned. Suddenly, the apron disappeared. "Take me out to the ball game."

"UGH!" Spottedpaw13 groaned.

* * *

Two seconds later...

Even though just watching a baseball game would be torture enough, Blackstar took it a step further and made Spottedpaw13 actually play baseball. In case your wondering, the past shows bad experiences.

_Young Spottedpaw13 playing baseball, baseball hitting her in the foreleg. "Ow!" (End flashback)_

So, as you can see, this was PLENTY torture.

"BATTER UP!" Littlecloud announced.

"Why are you the umpire? I wanted to be the umpire?" Olivenose protested.

Ferretpaw rolled her eyes. "Excuse me, _I_ had the claim for being the umpire!"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" Antpelt yowled.

"GET OUT OF HERE! YOUR TIME IS UP!" Spottedpaw13 screamed and kicked him out of this story.

"BATTER. UP!" Littlecloud announced once more.

Spottedpaw13 rolled her eyes and went up to the plate.

"I love my job," Redwillow sighed as he or she threw the ball. The ball proceeded to hit Spottedpaw13 in the head.

"STRIKE!" Littlecloud announced.

"THAT WAS A BALL!" Spottedpaw13 whispered.

"If you don't hit it, it's a strike. It's how ShadowClan plays ball," Pinepaw told her.

Spottedpaw13 moaned. Two more balls were thrown, two more landed on her head.

"Strike three, you're out," Littlecloud mewed.

Spottedpaw13 didn't hear him, she just collapsed.

Thank you for hearing the story of how Spottedpaw13 landed herself in the hospital.

* * *

**No, I'm not in the hospital.  
No, I'm not in the hospital.  
Again, I do not own iCarly.  
Or baseball.  
Or anybody in ShadowClan.  
(All characters are from The Fourth Apprentice....except for Spottedpaw13)**


	5. Celebration 5: SkyClan

**So....another day late. But I still need to finish this. Due to the lack of knowing where I put my copy of Firestar's Quest, I'm only using the two cats I remember: Leafstar, Sharpclaw, and Cherrytail. Did I say two? I meant three.  
Anyway, yes, SkyClan. Deal with it.

* * *

**Spottedpaw13 arrived at SkyClan's camp. "You rang?"

"Huh?" Leafstar seemed confused. "Who are YOU?"

"Oh.....I've never been here before, have I?" Spottedpaw13 asked. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Spottedpaw13, Author in training, yadda yadda yadda. I got an invitation for a birthday celebration from this specific Clan."

"Specific Clan?" Sharpclaw raised an eyebrow.

"Did you know they named something after you?" Spottedpaw13 asked. "Oh, nevermind."

"Hi!" Cherrytail grinned.

"Hey, itty bitty one," Spottedpaw13 greeted her.

"I'm older than you," Cherrytail pointed out.

"Not quite," Spottedpaw13 replied. "I'm actually 426 moons old."

"How?" Sharpclaw asked. "HOW does one live that old?"

"It's called cheating," Spottedpaw13 replied.

"So, we're celebrating your birthday today," Leafstar muttered.

"Yup." Spottedpaw13 muttered.

"How about a game of pin the tail on the Mr. FluffyPillows?" Leafstar suggested.

"Excellent," Spottedpaw13 grinned.

* * *

Dirtplace camera from Can You Say One Thousand Mouse Tails?...

Tigerstar "Seriously, my name is TIGERSTAR! I am NOT Mr. Fluffy Pillows!"

Spottedpaw13 "Seriously, you're using the wrong season for this. You should be using Island Total Drama, as it's more current."

Tigerstar "How about a game of SHUT THE **** UP???"

Spottedpaw13 "Um.....how about a game of using child friendly words so I don't have to sensor them?"

* * *

One Tigerstar picture later...

Cherrytail flopped a tail onto the picture with her eyes closed.

"Well.....it's on his head," Sharpclaw muttered.

"Shut up!" Cherrytail growled.

Sharpclaw's turn landed Tigerstar's tail straight up on his back.

"Awkward!" Cherrytail whispered.

"Shut up!" Sharpclaw hissed.

"How about a game of using child friendly words so I don't have to sensor them?" Spottedpaw13 asked.

"We're not swearing!" Cherrytail protested.

"Of course you aren't," Spottedpaw13 agreed.

Leafstar's tail landed right in Tigerstar's mouth. Don't ask.

"Leafstar....." Cherrytail gasped as she and Sharpclaw started laughing harder than any Rolling on the Floor Laughing or Laughing My Tail Off acronyms you can come up with. Spottedpaw13 grinned.

"Yes, it's funny," Leafstar mewed. "I believe it's Spottedpaw13's turn."

Spottedpaw13, amazed Leafstar was still slightly in character, threw the tail at the picture. It landed on Tigerstar's eyeball.

"I have bad aim," Spottedpaw13 whispered. Then she started laughing along with Cherrytail and Sharpclaw.

"I'll never understand you cats," Leafstar muttered.

* * *

**Okay, I admit, that was a bit funny to write.  
I'm amazed at my ability to keep Leafstar slightly in character. I'm getting more amazing at the minute. Not really. Leafstar's just awesome.  
Okay, yes, I started writing this yesterday. But I couldn't think of anything, so I just kinda gave up.  
And that's the last one. Merry Memorial Day.**


End file.
